Interesting discussion - and most welcome, as ever, to read the thoughtful musings of Kaelah and Ludwig.
My own tastes are similar to those of the OP, of Kyrel, and of a few others. That is to say, they are at the milder end of the spectrum. I find the leaving of marks unappealing, and the sort of beatings that break skin etc a real turn-off.
That, however, is a statement of aesthetics. Questions of ethics – to say nothing of psychiatry – are separate matters. Ethically, I share Kaelah’s view that (preferably enthusiastic) consent to the activity matters far more than the details of the activity. Coercive or pressured ‘vanilla’ sex is, IMO, much more problematic than consensual SM.
Whether there are limits to consent as a justification is an interesting question, as the cannibalism case demonstrates, but unless we are talking about permanent injury or death, then I doubt that we are approaching those limits.
In terms of psychiatric disorders, I can’t really do more than endorse what Kaelah has written. The definitional criteria for these are contested, even within the profession, but unless a fetish poses problems for the individual or someone else, then it will not be deemed pathological.
Where things perhaps become a bit more challenging is where someone’s fantasies run to non-consensual activities. Even there, though, I would draw a line between fantasies and wants or intentions. I would not assume that someone who enjoys, say, rape fantasies would ever want to commit real rape, any more than I would assume that someone who plays violent computer games would want to slaughter and pillage in real life. (The same, in fact, could be said of paedophilic desires. It is now widely accepted that there is a population of "virtuous paedophiles" who have never, and would never, harm any actual children. Between urge and action is precisely where morality is to be found.)
What has sometimes concerned me are sentiments that seem to derive from genuinely misogyny, or a desire to subjugate women in reality, but I don’t think these are any more common in the spankosphere than anywhere else.
My own tastes are similar to those of the OP, of Kyrel, and of a few others. That is to say, they are at the milder end of the spectrum. I find the leaving of marks unappealing, and the sort of beatings that break skin etc a real turn-off.
That, however, is a statement of aesthetics. Questions of ethics – to say nothing of psychiatry – are separate matters. Ethically, I share Kaelah’s view that (preferably enthusiastic) consent to the activity matters far more than the details of the activity. Coercive or pressured ‘vanilla’ sex is, IMO, much more problematic than consensual SM.
Whether there are limits to consent as a justification is an interesting question, as the cannibalism case demonstrates, but unless we are talking about permanent injury or death, then I doubt that we are approaching those limits.
In terms of psychiatric disorders, I can’t really do more than endorse what Kaelah has written. The definitional criteria for these are contested, even within the profession, but unless a fetish poses problems for the individual or someone else, then it will not be deemed pathological.
Where things perhaps become a bit more challenging is where someone’s fantasies run to non-consensual activities. Even there, though, I would draw a line between fantasies and wants or intentions. I would not assume that someone who enjoys, say, rape fantasies would ever want to commit real rape, any more than I would assume that someone who plays violent computer games would want to slaughter and pillage in real life. (The same, in fact, could be said of paedophilic desires. It is now widely accepted that there is a population of "virtuous paedophiles" who have never, and would never, harm any actual children. Between urge and action is precisely where morality is to be found.)
What has sometimes concerned me are sentiments that seem to derive from genuinely misogyny, or a desire to subjugate women in reality, but I don’t think these are any more common in the spankosphere than anywhere else.
Statistics: Posted by harang — Wed Jun 28, 2017 12:39 am